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From Dating to Marriage

Hello, members of Ahava Loves! I am sure you must be excited and are looking forward to finding a suitable partner for marriage here. Are you currently enjoying the single life or feeling lonely? Do you think about how you will choose a suitable spouse? After 34 years of marriage and multiple years of involvement in “marriage and family ministries”, I would like to share a few experiences with you.

One – Marriage Comes With A Cost

The Bible mentions that “two are better than one”. If one person falls, then the other can help them up. This is true in marriage as well. However, when it comes to the day-to-day aspects of living, life is actually harder for two people together than one person alone. Individuals come from different backgrounds. Therefore, it takes time for many couples to adjust to the many aspects of life together. God often uses marriage to mold, mature, and grow our lives. Is your heart ready to enter marriage? 

Two – Christian View of Marriage

The Bible says, “God created male and female in his own image”. Therefore, God’s design for marriage is one man and one woman. God appointed Adam to “work and take care of the Garden of Eden”. He is responsible to take care of the home which God has given to him. God also said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” God created women to be men’s helpers so they can take care of God’s home together. This is God’s heart for marriage.
When my husband and I were dating, I asked God constantly, “is he the one that You have prepared for me?” My husband and I are very different. God made me realize that the purpose He made women for is to be men’s helpers. Women are not weak but need to acquire the ability to help their husbands. By himself, he cannot fulfill the mission entrusted to him by God. Am I willing to commit to accomplish this mission together? I finally understood that the vision and mission God has given me is in marriage. He guided us to meet each other, get to know each other, fall in love with each other and build a family together. God made us so different so that we could grow and mature by complementing and helping one another.

Three – Christian Qualification for Choosing A Spouse

In Chinese culture, we believe in marrying into families of equal social status. Our spouse should be of similar family background. Meanwhile, the most important partner qualification for Christians is to be of same faith, so they can be well yoked together in life. In order to be a suitable partner for marriage, prepare yourself first by becoming a spiritually mature person.
After working three years following graduation from college, I was planning to go abroad to pursue my graduate studies. However, my husband grew up in a poor family from the countryside. He went through college on school loans. Therefore, working to pay back his loans was his first priority. Faced with the choice of getting married or studying abroad, God asked me to commit to “become a helper”. By faith, I obeyed God’s guidance, put down my own plans, and got married instead. Together, my husband and I walked hand-in-hand according to God’s marriage blueprint for us. After marriage, my husband finished his master and doctoral studies first. After 30 years of marriage, I also obtained my master’s degree and am now pursuing my doctoral studies. I never thought I would be able to fulfill my plans to further my education. However, God’s plan is always higher and better than our plan. Along the way, He helps us learn how to give and take, as well as sacrifice for each other within our marriage.