Are people in romantic relationships still friends? According to the research revealed in “Too Close Too Soon”, it takes an average of 300 hours or 7 months of steady emotional development to increase the chances of a successful marriage. After a breakup, it usually takes half-a-year for the wounds to completely heal.
Once a relationship steadies, guidance from experienced counsellors is highly encouraged in preparation for marriage. There are always opportunities throughout every stage of life for growth if you are willing to learn, change, and adapt. Many lessons if not learned before marriage, are learned after marriage. This means that pre-marital interactions and emotional development methods easily carry over into marriage, thus, signifying the importance of pre-marital counselling. If you have negative thoughts about marriage, talk to a counsellor to help you view marriage from a different perspective, in order to experience the joy of growth. For two spiritually mature Christians, being willing to love and accept one another as Christ loved them, having a God-centered relationship, relying on His strength to walk forward. The closer you both walk with God, the stronger your relationship will become.
Therefore, you need to have faith in God. As your creator, He knows who the best mate for you is.
- Believe that God has prepared someone for you. That person may not meet all your expectations, but trust that the person is the most compatible.
- Prepare yourself for marriage, being spiritually mature, pray and be faithful in accepting the mate that God has prepared for you.
- Don’t try to change the other person. Instead, use the love of Christ to accept their true nature.
- Instead of expecting change from your mate, seek to change yourself first to become more compatible. Because the root of love is God.
When I thought about the last sentence of my husband’s marriage vows: “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” (Joshua 24:15), I said “Build a strong family together that is full of God’s Love.” We did not know that 30 years later, we would be serving together in Family Ministry, still keeping our marriage vows, enjoying the process of growth and living out the vows of a lifetime is truly a blessing from God.
